DISCOGRAPHY
Unreliable - Acoustic version
Rolling down the hill
All my clothes are dirty
Land in a pile of leaves
They fly away
Now i got all these
responsibilities
That doesnt go away
as easily
I'm a big kid
in a brutal world
when saying i dont know
you´re now unreliable
Dat dat dat dada dadadataadaa
Now you´re too young
No you´re too old.
You´re too everything
Too nothing , too much.
But still it´s apparently not
good enough.
Telling it´s all a part of life
learning how to handle strife
yelling when they dont understand
all you gotta do is to see through it.
I'm a big kid
in a grown ups world
they´re saying they dont know
and now you´re unreliable
Suddenly i'm too immature
Cause i don't know how
to be, how to act, what to become and what to think
What to dream, what to say and how to look
to be accepted by you.
Suddenly you´re too fat, too thin
too much too little too strange too plain
too young too old too normal to be a
part of you.
and you still say im not reliable
Rolling down the hill
All my clothes are dirty
Land in a pile of leaves
They fly away
you and i should keep in mind
That we never are
too young, too old, too plain, too strange
too rich , too poor , too immature
too tall, too short, too thin, too fat
too good, too bad, too weird,
too nothing too everything
too loud, too quiet,too glad, too sad
too different
Monster inside 3
Balloons in the sky i just might break down
Too much air and i will explode
Too much holes inside and i can't be healed
Cute little band-aids won't help me now
Nothing is right , It's all a big fight
Between emotions in my mind
My stomach hurts and i feel unheard
It's way too loud ,my mind's going south
Like a balloon in the sky i just might break down
Too much air and i will explode
Too much holes inside and i can't be healed
Cute little bandaids won't help me now
I can't speak and i can't think straight
People around me wondering if i'm okay
Please leave me alone hyperventilating now
You scare me more than the monster inside
Something is wrong i can feel it in my bones
Cracking my skull against the wall
Rocking back and forth questioning my worth
Holding me by a string
i'm having a hard time controlling my breathing
Balloons in the sky i am breaking down
Too little air in my system
Screaming out loud they're coming after me
Realizing now the monster is I
Balloons in the sky, I'm doing okay now
Balloons in the sky, I'm doing okay now
released October 30, 2023
Thank you Alicia, you know why ❤️
Leaving you behind
You said , you would help me up if i fell, instead you kept running and dragging me through hell.
You said you would help ease my burden , instead you offloaded yours on me.
Don't think you've ever listened
Not once during all these years
Telling you I struggled all I could, til the end.
(Oh)
After all these years, all the fights and tears
You're the one who crossed the line
But this choice is all mine
This is my final goodbye.
You said , you would help me up if i fell, instead you kept running and dragging me through hell.
You said you would help ease my burden , instead you offloaded yours on me.
This time i'm leaving you behind, Im moving forward on my own.
This is a final goodbye, won't bother telling you why.
I'm leaving you behind, I'm finally leaving you behind, I'm leaving you behind.
Fuck you, goodbye
Broken promises, vows to do better, oh left shattered and broken,blown away like a feather.
Years gone by lessons leatned, a new beginning is what I've earned.
screaming , begging , i'm alone, crying , you kept lying.
you didnt even try
it was all another lie
You said , you would help me up if i fell, instead you kept running and dragging me through hell.
You said you would help ease my burden , instead you offloaded yours on me.
This time i'm leaving you behind, Im moving forward on my own.
This is a final goodbye, won't bother telling you why.
I'm leaving you behind, I'm finally leaving you behind, I'm leaving you behind.
Fuck you, goodbye
released September 20, 2023
Adore me
Said "please", now I deserve it
Give it here or else I will scream!
Why does everyone despise me?
I don't understand
You never asked for my opinion
So I told you what I thought you wanted hear
Feel like a distorted image of my better i
I don't feel wanted
Cotton in my ears
Blocking sound
Oh honey you got problems?
Well their not bigger than mine
Why won't anyone like me?
I make sure I'm there for everyone to see
Why won't anyone understand that everything is all about...
Me
Said "please", now I deserve it
Give it here or else I will scream!
Why does everyone despise me?
I don't understand
You never asked for my opinion
So I told you what I thought you wanted hear
Feel like a distorted image of my better i
I don't feel wanted
This time you will adore me
Just me, me, me ,me
I deserve all the attention
All of you must adore me me me me and only me, nobody else but me
Why won't you listen to me?
Why don't anyone likewhat they see?
Don't you understand that you have to adore me
me me me me and only me, nobody else but me
me me me me and only me, nobody else but me
released May 23, 2023
Black-eyed Susan
So much pain, for someone so young
With a pretty face
Blue as the ocean
Above ground
Ready to reach the sky
Burning sensation
She didn't do it right
Sure I was there
And let her die
Cause I was stunned
By the horrible sight
Black eyed Susan, that was her name.
Bringing all the joy and played the same game
As her old friend Lillie who passed away
Inseperable
Alway together
A promise
Between each other
Swore on life
They'd be best friends forever
Oh Susan, child
How I envy you
And your perfect life
Let it all be mine
Black eyed Susan, that was her name.
Bringing all the joy and played the same game
As her old friend Lillie who passed away
Black eyed Susan, perfect and sweet
Silently grieving under some sheets
Her old friend Lillie who passed away
Her words were lingering around like the smell of pastries
Black eyed Susan, that was her name.
Bringing all the joy and played the same game
As her old friend Lillie who passed away
Black eyed Susan, she was my friend
I never wanted this to end
Black eyed Susan, we all know and love
She took her own life to be with Lillie above.
released November 30, 2022
Destructive isolated emotions
My teddy bear keeps my secrets
Oh my bed keeps me warm
The shower hides the tears
Oh i swear i'll soon be gone
Oh my bed sheets helps to hide me
When i feel insecure
The mirror doesn't judge me
And with the pillows i will build my own home
Build my my own
Submerged in a fantasy
Cause i wanna escape reality
Oh the brutality of this world
It's dragging me down mentally
My phone keeps me distracted
From my thoughts
Knife held tightly in hand
Ready to fuck it up
Voices in my head, seeks to keep me in bed.
Quenching the fire that keeps me going, i'm feeling tired again.
Heading back to sleep the days away, can't remember how, what or when, i'm stuck here to decay
The mirror doesn't judge me, neither does it approve what it can see.
With pillows i'll build my own home
With pillows i'll build my own
My phone keeps me distracted
From my thoughts
Knife held tightly in hand
Ready to fuck it up )
released December 14, 2022
III ( cuts )
Cut x4 Underground
cut cut, through the problems
cut cut, through the pain
hurry up and cut your (skin)
Before you go insane
Let the blood hit the ground
Let it fall, let it fall
down down down
lock the doors
Don't let them inside
Trust me now and you'll be just fine
Cut x4 Underground
It was never your fault
yet they still blame you
Why though?
It's because, you were an easy target.
Don't mind me, i'm just gonna hang around here for a while.
Don't find me, I'm not in a state for anyone to see.
Welcome back to the underground
The price to pay will never save you from yourself
What i would give for a smile, word, a comforting touch.
Another flinch another scream, let me out of this horrible dream.
Laughing to hide my shame, inside i'm crying for this god forsaken bane.
Cut x8 Underground
credits
released December 14, 2022
Fake it
Keep your head up high, muffle that sigh
Keep on smiling, laughing, don't you cry
You might fool the world, but not the voices in your mind
Doesn't matter how you make it, pretend, lie, just fake it
woah *2
all because you dont feel good
woah *2
beacuse you dont feel good
How long will you be able to maintain this lie, the roots of this life is about to die
Stand tall, heads up high, brace yourself, you're about to fall
woah *2
all because you dont feel good
woah *2
beacuse you dont feel good
woah *2
all because you dont feel good
woah *2
beacuse you dont feel good
released September 2, 2022
Drowning
Choking me
I can't breath
Suffocating
It's killing me
Slowly
And painfully
Physically
Mentally
Emotionally
Sinking deep down
Shame filling my lungs
I'm drowning can't someone come help me get up?
I´m falling and
falling and
falling
deeper down the hole
Emotionless shadows reassuring it´s ok
A darkness eating my life away,
i cant do anything but to obey.
Gently and smoothly down the line,
Crossing is off the charts , hey, im not fine.
I´m pointing on all the signs, i´m pushing all the buttons at once, i´m screaming and shouting in vain, i no longer feel the pain
sinking
deeper and
deeper down the hole
the slumber keeps feeding of my soul
keep asking me, is this the eternal sleep?
can hear them whisper , weeping lying
praying for the damned
closing my eyes, i´m falling and drowning all at the same time,
feeling a gentle touch and a kiss goodbye
Gently and smoothly down the line,
Crossing is off the charts , hey, im not fine.
I´m pointing on all the signs, i´m pushing all the buttons at once, i´m screaming and shouting in vain, i no longer feel the pain
released August 17, 2022
Just like you
wanna wear your clothes and your shoes
You are so cool, i wanna be just like you
I love you, from the bottom of my heart
I admire you, my precious idol.
hey hey wont you look at me.
Im just like you, dont you see.
Dont you dare look the other way
Listen to what i've got to say
I wanna wear your skin
be in the same body you're in.
Hey look, i did what you said
are you finally proud of me.
Why are you screaming at me.
Im what you taught me to be.
It's not my fault,
i'm going to be a better you
No matter what you do.
Bang bang, look I have a gun!
Pointed at your head, this is so fun!
How about we play some russian roulette?
I am going to shoot you dead
Bury the corpse of a liar
Pour some gasoline and start a fire
thank you for listening to my song.
i hope it wasnt to long.
i like the way you look, i can read you as an open book.
I wanna wear your clothes and your shoes
You are so cool, i wanna be just like you
released July 25, 2022
Monster inside v2.0
Balloons in the sky i just might break down
Too much air and i will explode
Too much holes inside and i can't be healed
Cute little band-aids won't help me now
Nothing is right , It's all a big fight
Between emotions in my mind
My stomach hurts and i feel unheard
It's way too loud ,my mind's going south
Like a balloon in the sky i just might break down
Too much air and i will explode
Too much holes inside and i can't be healed
Cute little bandaids won't help me now
I can't speak and i can't think straight
People around me wondering if i'm okay
Please leave me alone hyperventilating now
You scare me more than the monster inside
Something is wrong i can feel it in my bones
Cracking my skull against the wall
Rocking back and forth questioning my worth
Holding me by a string
i'm having a hard time controlling my breathing
Balloons in the sky i am breaking down
Too little air in my system
Screaming out loud they're coming after me
Realizing now the monster is I
released July 14 , 2022
Grey little clouds
Sitting in the sand on the beach
Watching the waves come up to land
Destroying the pretty sandcastles that
The children have made
Oh i look up in the sky seeing some pretty clouds that
Slowly starts turning grey
And it starts to rain
Oh i went by the ice cream shop
And i bought some yummy ice cream
But the boy next to my left
He didn't get any
Oh i saw a cute girl walking by
I went up to her and said hi
But her boyfriend came
Turns out that she was straight
Grey little clouds above my head
The voices say that i'm unwanted
So i guess i'll just get back to bed
Grey little clouds up in the sky
Voices say that i should die
Oh i'm just so fucking done with life
released June 18, 2022
Last night
1 2 3 fill up the cup with red tea
4 5 6 just drink it
7 8 9 pretend everything is fine
Even though it's not
I've been searching for you the whole damn day.
All i want is for them to say,
That they found you, oh so alive.
Safe and sound
Hey, hey, hey where did you go last night?
I've been so worried
Did i run out of time?
Hey, hey, i really hope you are safe
Really hope that you are okay.
Police are everywhere looking for you
All they've found is your old shoe
They were waiting right outside my door
I let them in to explore
They wanted to know where i've been
with a hammer i bashed your face.
screaming you can count your days.
Last night you threw your last punch.
so fuck you and thanks a bunch.
Hey hey hey where'd you go last night?
I've been so worried, thought i ran out of time
Hey hey i found you safe
Now it's time for you to fucking pay
released June 18, 2022
Thanks to my father for doing some whispering on it
Unreliable
Rolling down the hill
All my clothes are dirty
Land in a pile of leaves
They fly away
Now i got all these
responsibilities
That doesnt go away
as easily
I'm a big kid
in a brutal world
when saying i dont know
you´re now unreliable
Dat dat dat dada dadadataadaa
Now you´re too young
No you´re too old.
You´re too everything
Too nothing , too much.
But still it´s apparently not
good enough.
Telling it´s all a part of life
learning how to handle strife
yelling when they dont understand
all you gotta do is to see through it.
I'm a big kid
in a grown ups world
they´re saying they dont know
and now you´re unreliable
Suddenly i'm too immature
Cause i don't know how
to be, how to act, what to become and what to think
What to dream, what to say and how to look
to be accepted by you.
Suddenly you´re too fat, too thin
too much too little too strange too plain
too young too old too normal to be a
part of you.
and you still say im not reliable
Rolling down the hill
All my clothes are dirty
Land in a pile of leaves
They fly away
you and i should keep in mind
That we never are
too young, too old, too plain, too strange
too rich , too poor , too immature
too tall, too short, too thin, too fat
too good, too bad, too weird,
too nothing too everything
too loud, too quiet,too glad, too sad
too different
released May 30, 2022
Selfish
You seem so happy
You look kinda free
I wonder, if you're the one i was meant be
Why did you come back?
What did i do wrong?
Feeling so worthless
Stop fucking me up
Everything is falling in fall
Like the spring leafs, summers fun and wamrth
Everything is falling in fall
like the winter snowflakes from the skies
Letting the maggots eat my corpse away
While i perish underground and decay
Doesn't matter how much you beg me to stay
I will leave anyways
I apologize for being selfish
released May 30 , 2022